Waiting for Wednesday

A 10-minute play
By
Simon Bartolo

Inspired by the song "The First Day" by the Unbending Trees and written with the band's permission.

Time:
the present

Persons:
Dorothy Crosse
Dr Albert Swiess

Scene 1.

Dorothy sits and empties several tubs of pills in front of her. She looks at them for a long time. Her face changes continuously from determination to regret to hope to fear to withdrawal and back to determination. She moves back, away from the pills and towards them again. She repeats this movement a couple of times. Finally she grabs fistfulls of pills and pushes them greedily into her mouth. She then runs around the room spitting pills everywhere, retching, crying.

Eventually she falls down to her knees, covers her face with her hands and weeps.. She gradually calms down and lays there sobbing and trembling.

She takes out her mobile phone and searches through her contact list. When she finds what she wants, she calls the number. She speaks hoarsely and her words are broken up by convulsive sobs and second thoughts. It would be immediately obvious for the person on the other side of the line to realise that she's in a bad way.

DOROTHY Hello… hi… I… is this The First Day clinic?...
Yes, hi… I … I'm not sure I … yes… Could I …?
Thank you. Can I come in today?...
Yes but it has to be today, I can't wait. I …
Great. Thank you…
See you soon.
Dorothy puts her phone back in her pocket and looks slightly more hopeful. She fixes her hair a little and judges herself in a mirror, retouching her make up.

She puts on her coat. Finally she is ready for her appointment.

Scene 2.

Dorothy sits looking at Dr Swiess who stands up to emphasise his point.

DR SWIESS So you're certain how the procedure works Miss Crosse.
DOROTHY Yes doctor, positively certain.
DR SWIESS And you still want to go ahead.
DOROTHY Definitly.
DR SWIESS [studies her for a moment, then proceeds] And you're ready to pay.
DOROTHY I must admit that the price tag is quite steep for a simple injection but I'm not going to need the money after this so I don't mind paying.
DR SWIESS It's not just one injection Miss Crosse. It's a 10-day procedure. You have to come to the clinic every day for 7 days. After the 7th day there's no turning back.
DOROTHY You've already explained all of this.
DR SWIESS You must understand. I have to be absolutely sure that you understand the implications.
DOROTHY The implications are very simple, doctor. They are quite clear in my mind. You administer a lethal injection. I pay. I die. End of story.
DR SWIESS I would like to go over the whole procedure just one final time before we move on, if you don't mind.
DOROTHY Listen doctor, I know that what you're doing is probably illegal.
DR SWIESS To put it mildly! You are paying me to kill you, Miss Crosse.
DOROTHY Yes doctor, and I thought you did this every day. I thought you were a professional.
DR SWIESS Miss Crosse I assure you that I'm being very professional. And yes, I do this every single day. Did you talk with any of the other patients in the waiting room.
Dorothy gets an attack of hysterical laughter. She can't stop and almost falls out of her chair laughing. Dr Swiess looks at her bemused. DR SWIESS I'm glad that one of us is laughing…
DOROTHY You actually refer to us as patients?
DR SWIESS I am a doctor Miss Crosse.
DOROTHY And you specialise in death.
DR SWIESS I specialise in the life.
DOROTHY The worst fucking disease ever to hit the miserable human race!
DR SWIESS I see you're being mild.

Beat

DOROTHY Can I have my first shot now?
DR SWIESS Hardly.
DOROTHY Oh?
DR SWIESS You haven't let me recapitulate the situation.
DOROTHY But that's just a formality, surely.
DR SWIESS I assure you it isn't, Miss Crosse.
DOROTHY Okay. Anything to make you happy and give me the bleeding medicine.
DR SWIESS It is vital that you understand everything.
DOROTHY Fine! I'm all ears.
DR SWIESS If you decide to go ahead with the procedure –
Dorothy is about to interrupt to tell him that she will definitely be going ahead.
He raises his hand to stop her.
DR SWIESS If you decide to go ahead, you will be adminstered a small dose of Agent Wednesday daily for seven days. During that time you might develop common symptoms such as cramps or nausea but many patients actually feel nothing. Not until after the seventh day.
DOROTHY On the 8th day I have to sever all connections with your clinic and go wait for my death.
DR SWIESS Which will occur –
DOROTHY On day number 10.
DR SWIESS If everything goes according to plan.
DOROTHY Great. Can we start now?
DR SWIESS Don't you want to know anything about the chemicals you're going to be injected with?
DOROTHY Not really but, if it makes you happy…
DR SWIESS Agent Wednesday is actually a highly toxic compound which I have developed with my assistant over a number of years. The main ingredients are Dioxin and Alpha-Fetoprotein but I doubt you're interested in the structure of the chemicals you're going to be injected with.
DOROTHY You doubt well.
DR SWIESS Over the years we have been constantly refining Agent Wednesday, tailoring it to have the desired effect - death. Our research has always had two main aims. To make the patient's death appear natural. And to this end I am very proud to say that we have developed a compound which is very predictable while also being completely untraceable.
DOROTHY How exciting.
DR SWIESS The other aim is to make the patient's departure as comfortable as possible and to give them a seven-day window in which to change their mind.
DOROTHY I don’t think there's going to be –
DR SWIESS Forgive me Miss Crosse but my experience shows otherwise. A staggering 90 percent of our patients change their minds after they start the treatment.
DOROTHY What?
DR SWIESS 75 percent during the first 24 hours.
DOROTHY Dr Swiess, I assure you –
DR SWIESS You can change your mind and stop the treatment during the first 7 days, after that there's no going back. But I must make one thing clear Miss Crosse, whatever you decide, your fee will not be refunded.

Beat

DOROTHY Okay… Can we start now.
DR SWIESS I understand your impatience Miss Crosse but I have to make one last point before we procede. Under no circumstance can we ever be linked with your death.
DOROTHY Not to worry doc, on the 8th day I'm going off to Fiji. I have always wanted to go there. It seems like a good place to die.
DR SWIESS As good as any other I suppose.

Beat

DOROTHY Anyway, I'll be far, far away and nobody will make the connection.
Dr Swiess looks into her eyes. He gives her a little smile.
DR SWIESS Good. We can start.

Scene 3.

Dr Swiess examines Dorothy. She clutches her stomach, groaning loudly, obviously in pain.
DOROTHY What's happening to me doctor?
DR SWIESS You are dying Miss Crosse.
DOROTHY But you said it would be peaceful.
DR SWIESS It's very strange that you're having such violent symptoms.
DOROTHY I've had to cancel my trip to Fiji because I couldn't get on such a long flight in this condition.
DR SWIESS I understand.
DOROTHY What do you understand? [She crawls around on the floor in excruciating pain] What the fuck do you understand? It hurts, it hurts so much! What have you given me doctor, rat poison?
DR SWIESS I assure you Miss Crosse that I personally administer the same drug to all of my patients every day and no one has ever had such terrible symtoms.
DOROTHY I guess I was just born lucky then.
DR SWIESS It is highly irregular that I should be with you now…
DOROTHY Oh that's right. We shouldn't be together after day 7. Maybe I should crawl into a hole and die alone, thank you very much.
DR SWIESS Miss Crosse, I apologise… I didn't mean –
DOROTHY I know, It is I who should apologise. We had an agreement, didn't we?
DR SWIESS Indeed Miss Crosse…
DOROTHY [squirming with pain] But the pain, the fucking pain wasn't part of the deal.
DR SWIESS You're right of course [he is confused]. I have to explain –
DOROTHY No need to explain doctor. It will soon be over anyway. Have you forgotten it's day 9?
DR SWIESS I hadn't forgotten, no.
DOROTHY It will soon be midnight… and we both know what that means.
DR SWIESS Yes, Miss Crosse. [tries to sound calm and controlled] Now, about day 10 –
Dorothy yells out in pain.
Dr Swiess paces around the room in a frenzy, running his fingers in his hair.
DR SWIESS Oh God … Oh God … Oh God …
DOROTHY Just give me something for the pain.
DR SWIESS I can't … I …
DOROTHY What?
DR SWIESS Miss Crosse, I …
DOROTHY You fucking bastard. You gave me this, just take the pain away. You're a doctor, you –
DR SWIESS Actually I'm not.
DOROTHY What?
DR SWIESS Miss Crosse … I'm not really a doctor … I –
DOROTHY What the fuck are you talking about?
They both stop as the clock chimes midnight.
DOROTHY Here we go.
DR SWIESS I'm sorry Miss Crosse, I … I mean you … you will not die –
Dorothy heaves and squirms, she tries to say something but doesn't manage. Her breathing becomes very laboured. Dr Swiess in a rush of panic tries to tell her the truth. His face is very red and he seems to be crying.
DR SWIESS I'm not really a doctor, I'm an actor. Just a part-time actor actually … I work as a nurse so I know how to give an injection, not much to it really. But the clinic, it's not real, it's just a project, an experiment. It's not a scam. Oh no, we're not thieves. You get your money back – well not all of it – as soon as you say you've changed your mind. People usually do, they change their mind about wanting to die. That wasn't a lie. Even the most adamant patient never goes beyond the 7th day. People are usually afraid to cross that threshold, they never actually have the last injection. Usually they just have the first one or two and then they come to their senses. We help people rediscover life by giving them a glimpse of death you see. Most people just need a jolt. But you're not like most people, are you? You had all seven shots. We've never had that. But it's just placebo. You're not supposed to feel anything. Some people imagine they're feeling some symptoms but never like this. Nobody has ever gone this far... Miss Crosse… Miss Crosse. No, no … Miss Crosse, you cannot be dead… you're… NO!

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